When it comes to horoscopes I am, to say the least sceptical. As the great Arthur C. Clarke said, who was the same star sign as me, “I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarius and we're sceptical.” To me they tend to be more horror than scope! The generalisation they use is so wide that you can’t help but find your own answers inside. If you throw enough arrows into the air you are bound to hit someone. Astrology, though discredited for centuries, still remains wildly popular. Scarcely does a day go by when we're not told of how our astrological sign is supposed to govern our behaviour or predetermine the day's events. Yet no explanation has ever been given — nor is one forthcoming — that can adequately explain the mechanism for which the alignment of the planets can influence our psychologies or the unfolding of the universe.
And yet you can’t open any women’s magazine, website or glossy publication without bumping into a menu of your day. “Today you will meet a stranger who will present you with a gift.” Now that could mean that you’ll meet the love of your life or a parking warden who’ll give you a parking ticket. Both are strangers bearing gifts!
So with my mountain of disbelief and mistrust I was asked the other day “what is your date of birth?” Maybe if you were asked by a policeman or doctor this would be a normal question. But when a colleague asks you I started to wonder whether she was just interested in tasting my birthday cake. She followed up with “and the exact time and place of your birth.” Obviously I didn’t have my watch on when I was born, and to be honest was a little distressed at the time to turn on my GPS. Collecting all the info from my mother who added, “you took your time to come out so I can clearly remember when the pain ended,” I passed the data onto my colleague who excitedly punched her keyboard. After a few seconds a scream was heard...”I don’t believe it.” She was using some complicated horoscope predictor online and had entered all my details, something that I definitely wouldn’t have done myself.
“Come and look,” she waved at me. The first line read - He is independent, has a taste for travel and freedom – Again I wasn’t convinced, let’s be honest this could apply to millions. She read on and like an Agatha Christie novel the mystery unfolded. - Likes to throw himself into the unknown and into adventure – Now I was starting to sound like Robinson Crusoe. And then boom! - He likes foreigners or he can find love abroad – The arrows had been thrown into the air but this time they had hit the bull’s-eye. I wasn’t just filtering out the cream from the sea of milk, every line was spot on. I started to become suspicious, maybe my colleague was playing a trick on me, it wouldn’t be the first time. - He looks for affection, love far from the family circle or from the native country – line for line was as if it was written for me.
Enough of the positive points, maybe the negative ones were further from the bull’s-eye. - Unable to stay in one place, is always ready to risk everything to achieve his goal – blimey even the negative points were close to the mark. I was getting the feeling that my great-great-great-great grandfather was Christopher Columbus; I have the blood of a traveller and explorer running through my veins. Maybe it wasn’t a coincidence that Mr. Polo and I shared the same first name. - Free spirit that likes adventure and will leap into hazardous and risky affairs – Was there more to horoscopes than meets the eye? She then started to get a little bit too technical. “There are twelve houses inside each star sign,” she started drawing a graph. “Twelve houses...there are less houses in Brašina than in my star sign,” I thought. Together with all the data from the twelve houses my Birth Chart was now nine pages long. Agatha Christie would have been proud!
Even the houses were correct - He is gifted for languages and it is even more interesting for him to live abroad – said house number IX. The moon in IX, whatever that means, read - Highly imaginative. Professionally successful abroad, or in import-export or as a diplomat. Contact with foreigners. Long journeys. Ability to learn foreign languages – forget Agatha this was rapidly turning into the Twilight Zone. I wasn’t about to throw myself on the floor and scream “I believe,” but it was getting a little bizarre. - He is a worker and has lots of energy – hmmm, suspicion comes back. Now it could be that she just got lucky with my horoscope, don’t forget even a blind squirrel finds a hazelnut once. Or it could be that Martin Luther King was right when he said “only in the darkness can you see the stars.” This could be a case for Mulder and Scully!